Danny’s top five “If I could own anything (again?)” cars

We all have them; cars we’ve yearned for or those that went away that we miss. 

My own wish list is tempered by prior experience. In my 20’s I had raced, Autocrossing specifically. It had been known as gymkhana racing in prior generations. This type of racing pits you against a stopwatch and a closed course (typically on a parking lot) made of switchbacks and slaloms laid out with cones.

Like most types of racing the SCCA divided cars into classes by engine displacement and extent of preparation. This allowed for virtually any flavor of “run what you brung”. I recall seeing guys show up in little bitty econo-boxes, pry the hubcaps off, slap a helmet on and go to work. Next up may be a Porsche 911, which naturally looked much more impressive than the Renault “Le Car” (remember those?) that ran seconds before. 

This was possible as there was only one car on the course at a time. It was in this climate that I learned some performance driving, watched, and formed opinions. Probably my biggest take-away was that there seemed to be absolutely no replacement for experience with your wheels. It was the folks that showed at all the events and ran the same car in the same configuration every time, who did well enough/consistently enough to go to nationals.

That said there were specific cars I used to see that were able to smoke most others that left an impression on me, and a few cars I myself used and abused and had a warm spot for. These are as follows.

Wish List:

1.       Lotus Elan – Made by the famed British automaker from 1962-1973 these cars could be either real jewels or real pains in the rear. When set up right and when the electrical system wasn’t out for blood, these cars had such balance and poise it is virtually impossible to drive them slow. A sleek/tiny roadster, it is apparent that when Mazda brought out the first Miata is was a shameless copy of both appearance and concept.

2.      Lotus 7 – more Loti, yes. Perhaps Colin Chapman’s greatest masterpiece, this tough little car dominated club events through the 60’s and well into the 70’s. What’s not to like; 1100 lbs of classic long-hooded, scalloped doored, clamshell fendered British goodness. All were built to spec and most ended up on the racetrack, and often had screaming little 1.6 liter Cosworth Fords in them, often churning out 150-200 HP. Sounds insignificant? That’s only 5 lbs for horsepower. Work the numbers on your 5700 lb Navigator and tell me what you get. After Lotus pulled the plug, a company called Caterham bought the design and tooled up. They still make variants, some with supercharged Ford Duratech 4’s which crank out 320HP. Must drive like a Saturn booster tied to your rear!

3.      A tie – The 1968 Camaro Z-28 and the 1966 Shelby GT350 Mustang. Why not the later ones? Both of these were towards the front of production and both were coded into production as real race cars. While they were indeed streetable (sort of) either was fully legal and competitive in what was then the new Trans-Am sedan racing. Both had screaming small block V-8’s that loved high RPM, and I’m not sure either had the edge in competition. Kind of rough and boisterous – that’s where they get their charm.

From the sublime to the ridiculous (my own beaters – gone, but alive in memory)

4.      1970 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser wagon. I see your eyebrows furrowing. Why this car? Well, not all Vista Cruisers are created equal. Mine was a Frankenstein. One very-ugly decade or better old utility hauler. Somehow once the original engine shelled-out, I ended up with a high performance engine Olds called the W-31. These were very underrated at 325HP. I say very underrated as I have fond recollection of taking a Porsche 911 Carrera to the woodshed on a chunk of highway that will remain nameless. Must have been humiliating, the wagon even had a roof-rack on it… Porsches should stick to turns. I behave myself now, honest!

5.       And for no particular reason except that I loved it. A 1963 GMC C1500 long-bed with the 305 V-6. The truck was just an old GMC/Chevy. But it would haul anything you loaded into it. The half-ton that could haul 3500 lbs. The engine was the jewel. I still don’t know what wild hair the GMC engineering department got, but this V-6 was a torque monster. You could lug it down to walking speed in top gear, push the pedal and it would just go. No fuss, no muss. Truck shrugged at any work I threw at it, towing or hauling.

I’d love to hear what cars tripped your trigger – in the past or now.  

Kansas City going alternative

We are just wrapping up the National Drive Electric week https://driveelectricweek.org/ , which was in effect a media blitz sponsored by various interested parties to promote electric vehicle awareness.

Later in the week, I attended the stakeholder meeting for the Kansas City Regional Clean Cities Coalition. In this meeting I heard of partnerships between businesses and utilities to install charging kiosks at various area employers’ locations.  The thought is that an electric commute may well be possible if the user has an opportunity to plug in a charge while crunching spreadsheets upstairs.

We also discussed various companies and organizations installing CNG stations, both private and public access. By virtue of my prior employment, I was also aware of other entities considering installation, or who have already entered agreement to install additional stations in my area.

The age is indeed upon us. In 1980 if someone had pulled me to the side and said “Dan, sell your IBM stock. Alternate fuel cars are the wave of the future,” I likely would have frisked them to see what type of illicit drugs they were on. Today, I honestly feel you may be stoned if you haven’t realized that gasoline and diesel are on the way out.

There is no embarrassment in this departure. In fact mineral, fuels have owned road transportation for more than 120 years. If you start figuring rail transportation into the mix, coal and oil burners, you realize we have 230+ years relying on Fred Flintstone’s pet dinosaur Dino.

Oil isn’t going away overnight. But dinosaurs went extinct once, and it will happen again.

Am I intimidated by this? Sure am. I have several decades learning the ins and outs of internal combustion engines as we know them now.  

Am I going to let that make me close my mind, shake my head and say “Ain’t gonna happen”? Sure not. I’ve learned the unknown before, and I will learn it again. I have confidence in my ability to adapt.

That and I followed a Chevy Volt on the way home from the gym Friday.

Figure your personnel changeover times into replacement costs

Let’s face it, no matter how underpaid or underappreciated your workforce claims to be, their time is expensive. Depending on who’s talking, you will hear numbers suggesting that an employee actually costs the company 1.4 – 1.7X their gross salary, variable based on company-provided benefits.

In many fleet operations new vehicle assignments are as easy as giving the operator a set of keys and watching out the window as they move their golf-clubs from one car to another. After they get their garage door opener and cell phone charger, they are on the road.

Work vehicle fleets, not so much. I have seen some operators putter around for three days just to transfer tools and fittings from one ¾ ton to another -- whereas another tech got it done in five hours. You scratch your head as you watch.

The point is, operators and their perceived vehicle setup requirements are all individual, but none can accomplish an equipment assignment move without impacting their actual work in some way.  So the fleet department isn’t the only one incurring expense.

Generally, if something can go wrong, it will.  The tech needed a new vice-mount and didn’t have it, the old bolt-on tool box is rusted and needs to be replaced – insert problem here.

More likely the upfit was delayed due to an ordering glitch, and the trucks didn’t deliver until rush season. No one can get more irritable than a supervisor whose star performer is locked in the shop moving onto a new truck while orders are stacking up.

They have a point.

The operator’s time does have a cost. It can cost not only the dollars he expends making the move, but also lost opportunity and the resulting overtime to make up for it. Does this mean you don’t change out the equipment? No, but it does mean their manager needs to be aware of the variables so that they aren't caught off-guard.